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Fuck me now
Because Utah mormons are waayyy different than mormons everywhere else. He will come to you. Is he aware that if your children are faithful members of the church they might end of marrying in the temple and he would not be allowed to attend the ceremony. But his absence in the spiritual side of my life, and that of my mother, was very hard. It is not easy for a nonmember spouse to understand a three hour worship block plus callings etc. In the long run, being married to a nonmember has made me a better person. By all means, I encourage you to try having those discussions and to make a mental note of when you would choose to walk away instead. Certainly there are such people in the church, but there are such people in any organization, and I would challenge you to remember that the members are also individuals with thoughts, feelings and the ability to rebel in their own ways. I married outside the church and have no regrets.
Become a Redditor and subscribe to one of thousands of communities. Accept yourself, and feel God accepting you, and everything else will follow. Righteous love does conquer all but in some cases it takes a lot longer than we are willing to wait. It's a foolish dream I suppose. You join the LDS Church. Somewhere down the road, you will find another girl who will be a much better match for you. Don't get her hopes up too much - in return ask her to do something to research your views. Mormons can be pretty crazy without it.